What fills you up?

Isaiah 55:1-2 "Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without cost. Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul with delight in the richest of fare." 

Food for thought :) I will blog tomorrow :) 

Comfort Food for the Soul

The challenges of being a couple in ministry often surprise me.  When Mike and I were first dating all we desired to do was meet together to share what new thing we learned in our quiet times in the Bible about God's love for us, His power, His justice, the hope only He can give.  When we were 1st dating I was sure to let him know that God came first, then my family, my girlfriends and then of course him.  Luckily he felt the same way.  We wanted to love God first and didn't want our friends to feel left out or like now as a couple we were some how too busy for them.  This is where our hearts were focused.  We would hang out with our roomies/close friends every night of the week and weekend and then eventually after we had quality time with them we would meet up, usually at midnight or 1am (did I mention I was also a nerd about my grades in college?) and talk for an hour or two just about our devo time that day.  We were overflowing with desire for more of God.  We would repeat this cycle all week long. However, one day  our roommates/best friends eventually ended up together or dating other people and then taught us a true balance of being in a relationship and still making our friends feel treasured :) As we ventured on in our relationship we still had a love and desire to share with one another what God was teaching us, praying together and being in God's word together, however, as we entered marriage and the life of a couple in vocational/full-time ministry we learned quickly how difficult maintaining these practices can be. In the past two years we have struggled to have time in God's word together, prayer together and sharing together regularly, mostly b/c we spend much of our days sharing with others we are pouring into what God is doing in our lives and can be tired by the time we have time to share with one another.  I do miss that college energy, pace & schedule that allowed us to have meetings at 12am/1am if we did that now our weeks would be wrecked! It was a cool time though :) 

All of the above leads me to share with you the best part of my week.  Last week while Mike and I were in Boston for my spring break from school we had a long heart to heart about our desire for our days of sharing and encouraging one another in the Lord when we were still in college.  We confessed how we had let business, even ministry commitments, get in the way of the ministry we are called to and dearly love & enjoy as husband and wife.  So on Monday my hubby came home.  We ate dinner.  Then we went on a walk to this adorable park in our community and sat down with bibles and journals looking up scriptures about God's promises Mike had prepared just for us that day.  One of the best hours of my life having that special focused time once again. You can bet we are fighting for it now more than ever!

All this leads me to what God has put on my heart to share.  Consider it a hearty meal of comfort food for your soul.  God makes us an incredible promise in Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you by my righteous right hand."  This promise is amazing just in taking it in in this one single verse, however, we can gain a richer taste for the depth and reliability of this promise by flipping ahead to the chapter that precedes this promise.  In Isaiah 40 the LORD is speaking comfort over His chosen people, Israel, below are His words of comfort, savor them:

v.10 "See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power and his arm rules for Him.  See, His reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies Him."

v.11 "He tends is flock like a Shepherd.  He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to His heart..."

v.12 tells us, He measured the waters in the hollow of His hand

v.12 continues, He marked off the heavens with the breadth of his hand

v.12 He has held the dust of the earth in a basket

v.12 He has measured the mountains on scales 

v.18-20, 25 God is so amazing, powerful, loving that He can be compared to no one for He is far greater then we can imagine 

v.22 "He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers.  He stretches out the heavens like a canopy and spreads them out like a tent to live in." 

v.26 "He brings out the starry host one by one and calls them each by name" 

v.26 "Because of His great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing" 

These are the words of a huge God, of the only God, of a loving God, of a powerful God of a one-of-a-kind, only Risen God, speaking comfort over his people.  

Now understanding more of who God is and his heart for you, taste and be nourished by this promise once again:

Isaiah 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you by my righteous right hand."  

Have a wonderful night of sweet rest & a Happy Friday!

PS- LeAnne thanks for the encouragement to write another post :) 

A New Beginning

I have tried really hard to be a consistent blogger, however, I have started to realize how truly difficult it is for me! Thanks for all who are joining me on this journey of change and discovering more about the God we love & serve! In the last couple of days I have felt a huge burden to be more devoted to writing each day or at least a few times of week to share what God is putting on my heart and where God is challenging me.

It seems that the Lord is calling me to take another step into the realm of vulnerability.  But if this is how he will be most glorified then indeed I rejoice! 

A little background on "Surprised by Change":

I came up with the title "Surprised by Change" because it seems to encompass the past few years of life and I'm sure will be the description of many years to come.  My husband, Mike, and I have been married now about 2 1/2 years.  We met in college and were married the summer after I graduated.  Always dreaming of living in New Jersey alongside my Italian-American family and mom (who re-married the Sept. before I was married) I laid down my dream of being in my hometown to follow the Lord's call on Mike's life.  Being a Youth Pastor in VA. It still amazes me to see the boy I fell in love with at college who swore God's plan was for him to share Christ in the business world preaching each week and faithfully following God's will for his life instead of the one he had imagined God having for him.  Leaving my family was one of the most heart-wrenching things I had ever done up to the 22 years of life I had lived when we were married.  Very close to my mom and Dad, leaving my extended family who all have raised their family's close to their parents/siblings, it was a hard start.  It's funny Mike and I never considered living in NJ.  God filled me with enough peace in His plan to never question that moving to VA to join Mike in ministry was what I was to do. A few weeks after our wedding I was preparing to teach 1st grade in a Christian School in the area.  My job was one area I was taking pride in.  I am able to look back now and see many motives of why I took the job.  Besides a love for teaching, one reason was to justify to my family that I had a job to help provide for Mike and I that would help them to be more comfortable with me marrying so young. I was trying to prove myself, which of course was unneeded.  One week before school began I was told that the 13 children I had prepared for would now be 28-30 because of another 1st grade teacher having to suddenly move.  At this same time, I started to become very ill.  I had been diagnosed with an ulcer from that spring through the fall with a few bumps in the road, however, told things were treatable.  By the end of August I was misdiagnosed with a bleeding ulcer. I was told to avoid all stressful situations.  Which led Mike and I to prayer consideration about whether to continue to teaching.  Never having quit anything in my life, the Lord humbled me to my lowest place, having to quit my job for the benefit of my health.  September was a month of stress and pain as we did not know what was causing the pain I was experiencing.  By October I had a procedure done which revealed that I had developed colitis, an incurable disease that causes inflammation in the large intestine.  Although, so much change had occured in such little time: moving from home, graduating from school, being newly married, quitting my job... God continued to teach me that his plans can be trusted.  He provided a job as a teacher's assistant in a classroom for middle school kids with autism that winter which led me to see the love I have to serve those with special needs.  He provided for Mike and I all we needed financially and even gave us the ability to save money for our future despite my lack of income for us.  He showed my family His provision despite what we had experienced.  He gave me the time I needed to adjust to a new home, being a wife, serving in ministry alongside Mike and being away from family.  He also gave me time to search to find what I desire to do for a job and finally 2 years later I am using my English degree to pursue teaching.  There have been many changes along this journey.  Changing jobs.  Following God in obedience despite feelings of... "God, are you sure?" I have to say as tiring as it has been at times it truly has been a blessing in disguise.  Looking back I can say I have been pleasantly "surprised by change" and look forward to the surprises ahead that will only mold me more into the likeness of Christ.  I wish the same for each of you on this journey of "growing up" with me. May you too delight in the hardships and blessings that make up God's plans for you.  He will be faithful! 

Growing up

What a day! I woke up for two hours planning on helping Mike with preparations for NYAID tonight only to fall asleep from 12:30-4:00pm.  I think my body went on strike.  I feel much more rested now and am getting ready for the long night ahead... 10pm-7am... whoa.

Today I was reading in 1 Corinthians 3 about divisions in the church of Corinth.  It is hard to wrap my mind around how there seem to be so many divisions within the church today.  At the same time I recognize the reality Christians still being sinful people (called righteous and holy through Christ alone) coming together to worship God.  We will never be perfect this side of heaven.  This may come as a huge surprise to some.  Or may even be frustrating.  I say this only because I am at heart a perfectionist.  Yes, it is true.  If there was a perfectionist anonymous group I suppose I would join.  But here's what God has taught me.  He doesn't want me to be perfect, he wants me to humble.  He doesn't want me pursue perfection, he wants me to rely on him. In relying on Him I will become more like Him, in becoming more like him I will please him more.   

God is so good knowing that we need help in being the children he desires us to be that he gives us the Holy Spirit who Jesus calls our counselor, a Spirit of power not timidity, a Spirit that helps us love others as Christ has loved us, a Spirit of self-discipline helping us honor God and to have protection from the emptiness of sin by following God's commandments.  

Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 3:1-3 "Brothers, I could not address you as spiritual but as worldly- mere infants in Christ.  I gave you milk, not solid food, for you were not yet ready for it.  Indeed you are still not ready.  You are still worldly.  For since there is jealousy and quarreling among you, are you not worldly?"

As I share my relationship with the Lord and my love for the Lord with other people one common thing they share with me is that they have seen so much hypocrisy and pride in the church that they would rather not attend and certainly they do not want to become like the Christians they have seen.  I always remind them that Christians still need forgiveness too.  Christians are not perfect and the one we should all look to as our model is Christ.  However, that doesn't excuse our immaturity as the body of believers.  

We all have a lot of growing up to do.  So let this be a year of the body of Christ being the body of Christ.  Let's put pride aside, walk in the humility Jesus displayed in his life, and be an encouragement not a stumbling block to those searching for the truth.  Let's thank God that we have a counselor to help us grow up!

Happy New Year's!

Called to be holy

2 Timothy 1:9 "...who has saved us and called us to a holy life- not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace."

We're not "holy" because we do this or that or do not do this or that.  We aren't holy because we strive to achieve perfection.  We aren't holy for any other reason than Jesus' presence in our lives.  Because of Christ's life laid down and raised up for us we are holy.  I can't be holy apart from Christ by what I do... but I am seen as holy because of Christ. 

What struck me in this verses is that I am called to a holy life. 

to be continued....

How much do you love me?

Exodus 34:6 "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love & faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin."

Deuteronomy 7:8-9 "But it was because the LORD loved you and kept the oath he swore to your forefathers that he brought you out with a mighty hand and redeemed you from the land of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh King of Egypt.  Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him & keep his commands."  

Deuteronomy 33:12 "About Benjamin, he said: "Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders."

1 Chronicles 16:34 "Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, his love endures forever."  

Psalm 31:21 "Praise be to the LORD, for he showed his wonderful love to me when I was in a besieged city."

Psalm 33:18 "But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love."

Psalm 36:5 "Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies."  

Psalm 36:7 "How priceless is your unfailing love!  Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings."  

Psalm 37:28 "For the LORD loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones.  They will be protected forever..."

Deuteronomy 10:12 "And now, O Israel, what does the LORD your God ask of you but to fear the LORD your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the LORD your God with all your heart and all your soul and to observe the LORD's commands & decrees that I am giving you today for your own good?"

Faith will bring the better

Mark 2:4-5 "And when they could not get near him because of the crowd, they removed the roof above him, and when they had made an opening, they let down the bed on which the paralytic lay.  And when Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Son, your sins are forgiven."

I love these verses.  Here we see the great faith of the paralytic's friends who put forth an extreme effort to bring their friend to Jesus.  Why?  B/C they believed he would heal him.  However, we again see proof of how God's thoughts & ways are often unlike our own (Isaiah 55:8-9).  The man is lowered into the room from the roof, quite a sight to see I'm sure, and Jesus moved by his faith tells him, "Your sins have been forgiven."  In our own ignorance we like the scribes in the room think ... "He's just going to say that he forgives his sins rather than healing him?" We see later of course that Jesus knows our thoughts (how amazing) and perceives our ignorance of his ways.  So he heals the man.  Why?  To show his authority to forgive the mans sins. 

But here's what gets me.  The truth is that Jesus forgiving the man of his sins would have been far better than him ever healing his physical impairment.  The man's faith led to Jesus' forgiveness of His sins... this is a far better blessing for great faith then the latter healing.  As Mike would say... "Can we FATHOM that?"

God blesses our great faith in him to do miracles in our lives.  However, sometimes he will not do as we think he will.  Again, we must be more about loving Jesus then getting things from him.  Jesus will always honor our faith and it's up to us to trust His ways/ His responses to our faith and to know that his blessings are far better.  Our faith will bring us what God has for us.... and that's far better than what we may think.